Jealousy is a very bad thing

Okay,
If your over someone you shouldn't get jealous of them, right? I mean, now that I have Ryan I shouldn't give a shit about Mark, RIGHT?
Ahh I'm so confused.
I get so jealous when he hugs other girls.
But whyy? I don't like him anymore!
He's a an ugly, mean, jerky, man whore!

I wonder how long its gonna take for me to believe those words :/

& on top of that, when I was talking to my friend Natalie on thursday at my house I said I liked Ryan MORE which was after we were talking about Mark.
MORE??!?!?!?!
Does that mean I still like Mark but I don't wanna admit it to myself?
WHAT THE HELLLLL!!!!

Ughh I'm so confused.
So lets talk about Ryan :]

Basically I'm supposably the first girlfriend he's ever actually liked. Usually he justs asks girls out to have a gf. But Tess is one of his closest friends and he told her that he really does like me a lot. He even wrote my name on his backpack strap! Awwww :D

On his left backpack strap it says I <3 Guys which was a joke cuz his friend wrote it there. On his right one it says Tara. So yesturday he pointed to the I & <3 then he went to the Tara and then to the Guys. So he basically said "I love Tara, guys!"
AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

I am very happy :]

Here in your arms<3

Okayyyy WOW.

I haven't posted in like, forever.

So basically soooooooooo muchhh has happened!

Unfortunately I don't have the patience to write it all down,

so heres all the recent drama that happened at my school starting from 5/22/08-5/29/08:



Well theres this guy who we are gonna call "Mark" that goes on my bus.

We are really good friends and we talk and laugh about EVERYTHING.

One day my friend "Karina" from the bus texted me saying "I know who likes you!"

So of course I asked "who?"

And when she answered "MARK!!!" My heart almost jumped out of my chest and did a break dance.

I've always deep deep DEEP down thought that he would make a good boyfriend.

And after she told me that, everything changed.

EVERYTHING.



I immediately called Amy, whom by the way I am not jealous of anymore, and poored my heart out about Mark.

The next day she told me that he told her he was gonna ask me out.

I was gonna say yes of course.

However the day ended and I was still single.

I wasn't mad though, 'cause I saw him on the bus.

It was quiet awkward I must admit that.

Amy and my friend Karina kept whispering things to him,

probably an attempt to make him say something instead of texting me.

Suddenly out of no where he turned to me and said "You look pretty" and flashed his wonderfully perfect smile.

We texted all dayy and night.

I was in love.

Or so I thought.



The next day people once again told me he was gonna ask me out.

Everytime I saw him though, he turned away.

I didn't know how to react to this at first.

But later as I was walking with Amy, Tess, and their boyfriends to the skate park I realized that I was mad. REALLY mad.

They were being really nice though, ensuring me that he was a jerk and that I could do better.

When we got to the skate park I thought I'd be a third wheel.

Luckily though my friend Ryan was there so I wasn't the only single one.

Suddenly Amy and Tess started talking about what a cute couple we'd make.

Ryan was insanely cute and I did like him last year.

But I still had my mind on Mark when we left.



That night I was texting one of best friends "Jena".

She used to like Mark but was supposable over him.

But that night she started going on and on and on about what a bitch I was for "stealing" him away from her. I cried of course because I didn't wanna lose a best friend over a boy.



The next day I waited and waited and WAITED for him to ask me out.

When it didn't happen I lost all hope.

While we were on the bus we didn't speak to each other at all.

Amy asked one question, "Did you guys have a good day today?"

We both looked directly into each others eyes for a minute and answered "No."

I didn't understand why at the time, but apparently Jena said that he changed his mind and wasn't gonna ask me anymore. I hated how happy she sounded when she told me that.



Finally it was Friday.

Karina came up to me with a sad look on her face, which complimented mine.

She said "I know why he changed his mind."

I asked "Why?"

She answered "He asked out Val yesturday. There going out..."

I felt tears in the back of my eyes but I refused to cry at school.

I hated him.

How could he tell me he was gonna ask me out and then ASK SOMEONE ELSE?

Who DOES that?



People started telling me though that Ryan liked me.
That made me smile all over again, because during that time his perfect smile made me happy.

On tuesday people started telling me "Your gonna be really happy" and I of course had no idea what they were talking about. On my way to sixth period I stopped with my group like I normally do. Ryan came up to out of nowhere and pulled me aside.

finally I heard the words "Will you go out with me?"

I smiled and said "Yeah." We have been together for 4 days so far and he is way sweeter, nicer, and cuter then Mark. We went to the skate park again with our group on Wednesday and had a lot of fun. I'm glad that everything worked out, since usually I'm unlucky. 5/27/08<333

Of course theres stuff that I left out but it would be easier to explain if I could actually TELL you guys the story instead of writing it.

I hope I can blog again tomorrow to tell you more stories about me & Ryan. :]

Random Writing

I made a new blog for my stories that I like to write. Check it out if you have any extra time. I'll put the link up. Thank you =]

Just My Luck

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. My parents hid the labtop and got rid of internet on the computer.

Sooo anyway I'm SO FRUSTRATED right now. This is why:
1. I miss out on all the fun nights with my friends
2. Sometimes, I feel like I'm being used for my niceness (if thats a word)
3. I think I might like Marcus. Yup Carrie's Marcus.

Alright so now I'm gonna clarify those reasons. Well for the first one, its because of my parents. They never let me go ANYWHERE. Its so annoying! They treat me like I'm a little kid. I got invited to go to this Ice Town thing and I wanted to go cuz all my friends were going. Did they let me? NO! And guess what? Turns out there was tons of drama that I missed. Don't know the details on that yet but I'm gonna bug my friends until they tell me.

Ok the being used for my niceness thing is SO ANNOYING. For example, I'd be sitting at our lunch table really bored then I turn to one of my friends and start talking and they kind of ignore me. Sort of. Well they talk to me, but it doesn't seem like they're interested. I mean, last year everyone was like "Yay Tara!" But this year its more like "Oh. Hi Tara." My bestie even admitted that last year I was more funny then this year. WTF??? I guess that means I need to be as funny as last year...but last year the funnyness (if thats a word) kinda came naturally. Grrr.

Last reason is definately the most important. Well at first we were just friends. We talked alot. Then he started talking to me more about how he was nervous around Carrie and that he really liked her. I thought is was sooo cute that he felt like that! Then I realized I like him. More then a friend. You know what sucks about that? Carrie actually likes him back now! Can you believe my luck? UGH I'm so unlucky! And I know its not cool to go after a friend's boyfriend/crush. She was even talking about she hates girls who like the same guy she does and I was just sorta nodding my head pretending to agree with her. Sigh...

Well I'm done complaining now. Joy.

I'm a Matchmaker

I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm the one that hooks up all my friends xD
Does anyone remember my friend Carrie?(who by the way never did go out with Angel) Well now theres a new guy. Marcus. Its so cute how he likes her so much but um...she doesn't really like him back. Well, she said that she likes to many other guys so she doesn't want to go out with him. I guess that makes sense. I mean, why would you go out with someone if you like 5 other people? Hmm...more on that when something actually happens.

Me and my friend Rei were talking about an interesting subject today. We were talking about being preggers. It all started when we starting talking about Jamie Lynn Spears and how she's pregnate. And we both agree that 16 is TOO YOUNG. Even though now a days it all happens at effin 12 years old. Its funny that she agreed with me considering how many boyfriends she's had and make-outs with random people. But yeah...hmm I wanna see Juno. It sounds like a funny movie.

OMG! I forgot to tell you guys this! I found out that Juno was written by a dancer who used to blog. The thing was, a movie director or something like that found her blog and thought she was really funny. So then he suggested she wrote a screenplay for a movie. She did, and we now know it as Juno. A movie that is getting nominated for many awards and recieved an A from the critics. So definately keep blogging everyone! You never know what could happen ;]

&& Roll the film

Hmmm...nothing new today. Just posting for the sake of updating. Well a couple of my friends came over + my brother's friends and we made a movie. When we finish it I promise to post it here because its hilarious! I'm the director and I play the main charrie's sister, Tyra. Not Banks. It doesn't really have a plot, just three main characters [ Nitro, Boost, and Larry] who go on crazy and wacky adventures. Don't ask about the names, my brother and his friends made those up. Boost is the idiot, Larry's an alien who's kind of serious and hates Boost, and finally Nitro is the cool, calm, super hero type guy. Like I said, the movie doesn't really have a plot but its still funny. I never realized how much I actually liked filming and directing the movie. I've always liked acting, but I never thought of directing. Every day does bring something new. After they left I played Sims 2. I know, pathetic right? That game is so addicting though! I'm tired, so I think its about time I go to sleep. Good night. =]

Out with the old, in with the NEW!

Its finally 2008!
I just wanted to say happy New Year to everyone! Hope everyone fufills they're resolutions. Keep blogging everyone. =]

<33
Tara